It never rains in Southern California, or at least that is what everyone is led to believe. I woke up this morning to a heavy drizzle. Okay, so a drizzle isn’t anything to write home about, but since my stained glass workshop is outside, it means I can’t work. By comparison, this rain is nothing to the thunderstorms and tornadoes I lived through in the Midwest. Besides, rain is good for San Diego, especially since we have such dry weather for most of the year. Even though the rain was light, traffic snarls around the county were plentiful. No big deal.
So in my small little world, I’m rushing around the house so I can get to my 8:00 a.m. meeting ten minutes away. I left the house and stopped dead in my tracks. A thirty-foot tree lay on the ground across my driveway. When did that happen? Taking a deep breath, I turned and headed back to the house. My plans for the day were changed for the second time today.
At that point I had a choice in how to react to the situation. I could have gotten all stressed out about missing my meeting, being stuck at home without the use of my car, and getting aggravated about not being able to work on my stained glass; or I could let go of the situation and make the best of it. I chose to let it go.
How many times during our day do we face unexpected situations in our lives? How many times do minor incidents escalate into full-blown anxiety attacks and needless stress? What can we do to keep ourselves from painful, negative emotions?
In yoga, there’s a term “pratipaksha bhavana.” The basic concept is that when you experience a negative thought or emotion, the thing to do is try to cultivate the opposite thought or emotion. The key to cultivating the opposite emotion is to first be aware of what you are feeling at any particular moment.
As an example, when I saw the downed tree in my driveway, I could have stood in the rain, cursing the tree for causing me to miss my meeting. I could have stormed back to the house and yelled at the management company of my condo association for not taking better care of the landscaping. Instead, I called the management company to report the incident and made a conscious decision not to get upset about the change in plans. Again, the key here is making a conscious decision.
One way that I found to be more aware of my thoughts and feelings is to take ten minutes out of my day to meditate. There are many forms of meditation, but the simplest form is to just sit quietly by yourself, close your eyes, and breathe. Concentrating on your breath is a simple practice that you can do anywhere, any time of the day. Follow your breath in as you inhale and out as you exhale. Stay focused on the breath for five to ten minutes. By focusing inward, you will soon find that your emotions have calmed.
There are things in life that we can control and other things that we can’t. To lead a peaceful life, I try to remember the serenity prayer:
God, give me the courage to change the things I can, to let go of the things I can’t change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Have a peaceful day.
Posted: February 22nd, 2008 under present moment, yoga.
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